Learning to escape dangerous situations is crucial to growth and change. A good model to follow is Joseph from the Old Testament in the Bible (you know, the one famous for the "technicolor dreamcoat.") Joseph who was sold by his brothers into Egypt and became a servant to a man by the name of Potiphar. Potiphar’s wife began to make advances on this young Israelite bidding him to “lie by her, or to be with her.” Joseph very easily could have cursed God, cursed his spiritual heritage, and forsaken his morals. But the Bible says, “he harkened not unto her.” 

Potiphar’s wife is being pretty forward in tempting Joseph--even daily. But it sounds like there are usually other people around. On this particular day it sounds like it is just Potiphar’s wife and Joseph. Sounds risky. But I am grateful that Joseph had this experience because it teaches what to do when in dangerous territory. Speaking about potiphar’s wife the Bible says, “And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.

Joseph would spend the next several years in prison ultimately as a result of not giving into Potihpar’s wife. He prized his values, integrity, and his moral worthiness before God over whatever consequences would follow. Joseph is a stellar example of someone who had waxed strong in a willingness to do whatever it took to stay true to his better self.

The scriptures don’t say anything regarding his state at the time Potiphar’s wife approached him--if he was bored, or stressed, or aroused. His self-talk could have begun to whisper justifications, or to tell him that “he could handle it,” or to even shame him—telling him that he was of no worth because he was ‘just a slave’ or that God had forsaken him, so why not forsake God? Whether it was his fault for being in the wrong place at the wrong time or due to the scheming of Potiphar’s wife, no one was in the house. That is, soloing was occurring. Whatever the S’s for the situation were, the longer he stayed in Potiphar’s house, the more at risk he was for falling into temptation. But he recognized the danger, and he ‘got himself out.’”

Here you can find personal application in the phrase, ‘don’t fight the battle at the bar.’ This means that you don’t make the decision in the moment regarding what you will and won’t do. It means you don’t try and white knuckle through temptation in a place where it is too easy to fall. When you are in situations like Joseph and are in the thick of temptation, you may find you aren’t thinking clearly enough to fight back. At that moment the number one thing Joseph needed to do was escape the enemy. Now wasn’t the time to whip out his scriptures and read, or do a hobby to take his mind off of the temptation. He just needed to get out--and get out quick! The longer he stayed there and tried to white knuckle through it, the less likely he would have been successful in staying worthy. 

5 T’s of Escaping

Here’s 5 steps you need to follow when you are faced with a risky situations that could lead to relapse:

T #1: Think ahead. Take precaution to avoid dangerous situations. Be aware of what storms are happening around you and within you. If you are having an ‘I can handle it’ attitude, or you find yourself fantasizing a great deal, you should likely avoid being alone on a phone or computer. The recovering alcoholic looks ahead and changes their route home so they don’t drive by the bar. They never get close to the temptation because they have thought ahead to avoid tempting places. For us, it means you aren’t using the internet at times or in places where there is the slightest risk of relapsing.

✏ In what ways can you do a better job of thinking ahead? 

T #2: Treat it Seriously. If you are casual about recovery, you can expect poor results. The attitude you put toward it will impact your response to triggers and dangerous situations. If hiking in a slot canyon, you can do your best to plan ahead, but the moment you tell that there is risk of a flash flood, the best option is to seek higher ground. When relapse is on the line, seek higher ground and the support of others. Don’t go it alone or have a cocky, “I can handle it” attitude. 

✏ How are you doing at treating your recovery seriously? 

T #3: Turn it off, turn & run. In spite of your best efforts, there are times you will see things that could trigger arousal or fantasizing thoughts. The key is to get in the habit of turning away from what you see, and if you have the ability, to turn it off. If you see a person dressed inappropriately, or there is a suggestive billboard or something else, turn away. If it is an enticing ad or picture on your newsfeed, push the power on your computer, phone, or TV to turn it off, or simply just get out of the room, the apartment--maybe even the neighborhood. Put as much distance as possible between you and the temptation. 

✏ What does it mean to you to “turn and run?” What are situations where you need to do a better job at turning off technology and getting out?

T# 4: Tell someone. When you see something you did or didn’t mean to, keep yourself accountable by telling your accountability partner, even if it was something  saw accidentally. When you see a picture or image, even if you didn’t intend to see it, it sticks in your brain. It can be easy to start mulling it over, piquing your curiosity. That small snowflake eventually becomes a snowball, and the snowball becomes an avalanche. 

However, when you tell an ally or several, it’s like turning on the window wipers. It can push that snowflake away and out of mind. You now have someone or several someones to keep you true and on track. 

I have a friend whose job is to monitor the computer filters at his work. Because of the nature of his job, he has accidentally seen inappropriate images. Every night, he will tell his wife exactly what he saw. It keeps him accountable, and helps him wipe away those images. 

Opening up to others destroys secrecy—which is a major hiding place for addiction. It goes back to turning to your GRASP--God, Religious leaders, Accountability partners, Support group, and Professional help. Hopefully you talk to God about what happened, but make sure you use others as well to open up to.

✏ How are you doing at building your support team? Who is your go to when you’re feeling tempted? 

T #5: Take Inventory. Review what happened and what you could have done different. If you take inventory of your actions early enough, you can learn how to avoid relapse altogether. Even better is doing an inventory with your accountability partner. Review how you did with escaping the enemy every single day utilizing the four other T’s even if there was no major triggers or other issues: 

• Think ahead: How did I do thinking and planning ahead and avoiding risky situations and slippery surroundings altogether? What did I do to take care of myself and avoid a sorry state?
• Treat it as life or death: Did I take my recovery seriously enough today? What did I do to wax stronger in my willingness?
• Turn and Run: Did I effectively escape risky situations and slippery surroundings today? Are there times I lingered too long in looking? 
• Tell an Ally: Did I keep myself accountable today with what I saw and what I did? Am I opening up to others often enough?